We all have an ideal image in our mind of what our life should look like. Maybe not in detail, but we all have some idea of our ideal partner, the beautiful trips we still want to make and the house that we want to buy (later). To some extent, we can also make this ideal image come true. But sometimes, it just does not work…
We all have had someone in our lives, who is no longer here today. Maybe because he or she died, but there is also a big chance that you see someone less or no longer because of other circumstances. People, both love relationships and friendships, go ‘different ways’ for all sorts of reasons. And although this is usually not fun or even hurts, we can do nothing but accept and continue.
Accept, but do not suppress
I recently had a conversation with a friend of mine, who told me about an article he had read. This article mentions that we do not allow ourselves the time to get over a broken relationship. And on top of that, we often have the tendency to downgrade our previous relationship. We quickly choose someone new and he or she does everything better than your previous relationship. Right?
I think it’s important to realize you can miss something, but not want it back. – Paulo Coelho
No, not necessarily. Sure, you broke up for a reason, whether it was your own choice or not. But, it seems almost normal to hate your ex (ex best friend, ex-boyfriend). And I do not want that. For example, after 5,5 years, my ex and I have split up. We decided that it did not work anymore. My mother said: “At a certain moment the cake is finished.” And that is possible, and that is not nice, but it is not bad either.
I can still see my ex and I often think about all the beautiful and fun moments that we have shared together, the things I learned from and with him. And also about the less beautiful things and how we supported each other (or not).
Listen to yourself
What I mainly want to say is that we all think we know how everything ”should be ”. But sometimes your feelings really tell you something different. And that is not bad. Take your time, there is no handbook ‘dealing with broken relationships’ (although there are many books that try to be) and that is a good thing too. So you have the freedom to fill in how you want to deal with it!
How do you deal with a broken relationship? Share your tips below.