22:30 I am in bed, but I still have to brush my teeth. I walk to the sink half asleep. I watch myself in the mirror, I look very tired. Will I take a sleeping pill tonight? I decide not to. Hopefully the sleep gods are with me tonight.
22:40 Finally, I am nice and warm in my bed. I set my alarm, because the next day I have to go to college. I turn off the light and close my eyes.
23:15 I am just turning around to find the right sleeping position, but I do not succeed. I pick up my phone and put some music on it. I listen to the lyrics of quiet ballads.
00:10 Slowly but surely I do not hear the lyrics and the music anymore. I press pause, put my phone away and turn around. Finally I am falling asleep.
2:30 I feel that my deep sleep slowly turns into a light sleep. I wake up and look at the clock. Oh my god, why am I awake? I still have four more hours to sleep… If only I had taken that sleeping pill!
2:42 I put my hands on my stomach and close my eyes. I inhale quietly and slowly exhale. I do this until I get into a daze again and can resume my sleep.
4:10 I wake up after a dream. It was not a nightmare, but rather a very realistic dream. I have to orient myself for a moment and I wonder if my dream is a sign of a sad event. What if it has already happened?! My heart starts to beat faster. I try to breathe quietly so my heartbeat goes down.
4:45 Will I take that sleeping pill anyway? I decide not to do it, worried that I will sleep through my alarm clock if I do.
4:50 – 6:00 A short period of light sleep follows. I am fully aware that I am lying in bed with my eyes closed. But I do not fall asleep. Meanwhile, my thoughts go back and forth. I must not forget to email my boss. What day is it today? What will I do today? What shall I wear today? A dress or just a pair of jeans with a sweater? And so it goes on until I get mad. Where is that button!
6:10 I finally fall asleep again, but the sleep is short-lived because in twenty minutes the alarm goes off.
6:30 I wake up with the sound of my alarm clock. I press stop, and turn around again.
6:55 I wake up again. I have to get up NOW, otherwise I will be late! Shall I just not go to college? I can also study the subject myself.
7:10 I get out of bed and go to the shower.
When I come home I immediately go back to my bed.
When you feel you can not sleep – Fix you by Coldplay