Since the rise of several dating apps like Tinder, Happn and Once online dating is hip and happening! One third of the 2.7 million single people in the Netherlands uses a dating site or dating app. Dating has become easier, but also more casual. But what does this mean for our dating live? Several studies have been done on the use of dating apps and the pro’s and con’s of online dating.

Research in online dating

It is important that we know and learn more about the psychological processes and consequences of dating apps because so many people are using the apps nowadays. It’s possible though that online dating is not your cup of tea, because it can cause a lot of frustration for example. Half of all the Tinder matches does not even reply back and people can easily “ghost” you after having a nice conversation. Also about 20% of the Tinder users is already in a relationship.

British studies have shown that people between 14 and 24 years old become more insecure about their appearance, are more likely to feel lonely and suffer from depressive feelings due to the use of dating apps.These are harmful consequences. But why do we keep using dating apps? Killing time is the primary reason, followed by curiosity and making new friends. Finding a potential partner is listed as the fourth reason but despite that 14% of all relationships are established through dating apps.

Pro’s and cons

Dating apps are the perfect solution for people who find it difficult to approach someone in real life. It is less awkward and the contact is more casual. But social media and dating apps seem to decrease our social skills since we spend so much time on our phones. Meeting someone in real life is more awkward than before and research shows that people tend to make less eye contact in real life. And since it is so easy to get in contact with another person digitally, it is also easy to get disconnected with someone again. Going on a date doesn’t take that much commitment nowadays.

Online dating also seems convenient because you can easily avoid confrontation. You can decide to not answer messages anymore, instead of starting a conversation about why you’re not interested in the person. This seems handy, but is avoiding confrontation really a smart move? You can read more about this in the article of our blogger Ghyta.

The risk of online dating, just like with other social media is that mostly young individuals are inclined to link their self worth depend to the amount of ‘likes’ they get. All the online attention makes us feel better but only for a little while. In the long term, we need more of this attention to feel the same way. A good foundation to start with online dating, is to love yourself first. How you do this, you can read in this article.

So?
Are you single and do you want to give online dating a try? Try to have fun in the process, and not only be focussed on the goal or the amount of likes you get!

The relationship with yourself, sets the tone for every other relationship you have.

 

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Try writing down your thoughts and feelings that you have during online dating in the ‘Feeling Registration’ to get insight in what goes on in your mind and body.

Sources:

NRC

NPO
Singlesite

Datinginsider

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Ilya de Groot

Hi, my name is Ilya, I am a psychologist and coach at NiceDay. I love traveling, good food, new experiences and exercising (roller skating and skiing). The balance between effort and relaxation is important to keep, are you managing? I would like to help you with that!

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