Giving or receiving compliments often feels a bit unnatural. In the Netherlands it is all about performing, and when you do not successfully complete this you will hear it. But giving compliments is so important, it is an expression of appreciation. It reinforces the positive self image of someone. Think about children, how often do they get a compliment when they do something? Yes, very often!

The benefits of compliments
Giving compliments are good for different things. By giving a situation an emotional addition you will remember the situation better. Also, giving a compliment gives the receiver and the person who said it, a positive feeling. If the person who received the compliment is laughing/smiling, you will also get a positive feeling. This is caused by the mirror neurons in your brain. Receiving compliments can promote activities. By making mistake you learn, but with successes you will grow further. Look at the bright side, what is going well and how can I keep doing this? This way of learning is easier and more fun.

Giving compliment, how do you do that?
Giving compliments sound easy but people find it hard to do. A lot of people are afraid that people will think that what they say is fake, or they do not know how to even give a compliment. By giving a compliment it is important to look the other person in the eye. Name the behaviour and say what you like about it. Only give the compliment if you are really mean it. Try to give it for now on minimum once a day.

How do you receive a compliment?
If someone gives you a compliment, it is important to accept this compliment. Someone made an effort by complimenting you. If you do not know how to react, you can always say: ‘Thank you’. By saying this you are accepting the compliment.

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Selin Colakhasanoglu

Coach. Walks together with you to achieve your goals. Loves to play the piano, to travel and different cultures.

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