Does my partner need help? Tips for you and your partner
Does my partner need help? Tips for you and your partner

When your partner has the flu, you take care of him / her, for example, by making soup and by regularly checking whether the fever has subsided. It is often visible when someone is wrong. But how do you know how things are going with your partner on a mental level? Which signals should be warning signs for you, or: when does your partner need mental help?

Environmental factors

You know your partner best. It means something that you get the feeling that something is going on with your partner. Behavioral change does not necessarily indicate a mental illness: the behavioral changes may also have to do with environmental factors. Perhaps your partner has been promoted which means he / she expresses much more joy and expressiveness than you are used to. Or maybe your partner exhibits more withdrawn behavior because he / she experiences (persistent) conflicts with loved ones or at work. When the environmental factors change, a change in behavior is also likely to occur.

Longer persistent symptoms

Does the unknown behavior last for a longer period of time? Or more specifically: is this behavior present for a two-week period and does this behavior differ from how your partner first behaved? Do you notice that your partner suffers socially and / or professionally? Then try to start a conversation with your partner. It can be difficult to start such a conversation. Below are some tips to start the conversation and to make the conversation go as smoothly as possible:

  • Timing is everything: therefore choose a quiet moment. It is also important to start the conversation when the atmosphere is pleasant. For example, it is not convenient to start the conversation after an argument.
  • Try to talk from the I-form. Examples are: “I experience that you have been less cheerful in recent weeks”, “I get the feeling that you get less / no pleasure from activities that you previously enjoyed.”
  • Emphasize that you want to support your partner and that you want to work with him / her. This way your partner does not get the feeling that he / she is on his own. For example, indicate that you would like to go to the doctor with him / her.
  • Give your partner time. After this conversation, he / she will have to process all the information. Return to it after a few days.

When your partner has to deal with psychological problems, it is extremely difficult for your partner in the first place. Taking care of your partner is a normal and healthy response. On the other hand, it also brings a lot of conscious and unconscious stress, because of not ignoring your own needs. It is incredibly important that you take moments for yourself and continue to undertake things that bring you joy and energy. Because it can weigh enormously on an individual when he / she is dealing with a partner who is experiencing psychological problems, it can also be useful for you to talk to someone.


Does your partner have psychological problems? Then come in contact with a NiceDay coach to get the tools to learn how to deal with your partner’s situation. Or would you prefer to introduce NiceDay to your partner to introduce him / her to NiceDay, then let your partner make the connection with one of our NiceDay professionals.


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Britt Stoker

Hi! My name is Britt, psychologist coach at NiceDay. Through online coaching I can guide and help you with what’s on your mind. Loves animals, traveling, photography and delicious food.

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