I met a girl in the mirror. She reflected my past but moved with me in the present. And the more I got to know her, the more I wanted to show her the future.

Two months ago I arrived in Austria. I came here on a hunch, an impulsive act.
I posted a Facebook message that I wanted to spent the winter season skiing, but that I did not have a big budget. Maybe I could visit people, stay with them and help them out with something; pictures of their holiday, cooking, anything. It was a long shot, but worth trying.
For a long time I heard nothing, but then suddenly someone said to me that he knew a girl that works in Austria for the season and maybe I could go see her. He gave me her contact information, and I called. She worked as a hostess in a bed and breakfast home. I could come and help her out. We decided to go for it. Just a gut feeling we both shared. I arrived in Jochberg in February. And I got to know her.

She was my mirror into the past and the present. 30 years old. Fully in transformation. At the brink of knowing, accepting and deciding that things should change. That she should accept who she is and what she needed; So that she could be her full self. Whole. Authentic. She should move through life with herself as a compass. Choosing people and paths that fit, complement and fulfill HER. Not only others.

Slowly this was dawning on her. But it is a struggle. When you are in transformation, you are in chaos. Being consciously incompetent is not fun; Knowing that things cannot go on like this anymore, and knowing that you are still failing at it and doing things the old way, is hard. Letting go is hard. Change is difficult. But you need this phase to grow into consciously competent and hopefully eventually unconsciously competent.

You try to listen to your body. You try to acknowledge that you are tired or stressed or continuously crossing your boundaries. But still doing things that only surplus the stress and exhaustion. You do not understand how things can be different. How you need to be, to function in this world.

But slowly you will see, my lovely girl, that you can claim your spot. That you can be you and still function. What you need to do to keep your balance, your peace and your joy. Your way. Not anybody other’s way. Just yours.
And puzzle pieces will fall into place. You will start to ask for space and time. You will set boundaries. You will see that you will become you more; with more realness, openness and true love to give. Open your heart and receive this from others. You don’t have to do everything alone.

I am so glad I could help you with this path and transformation. And I will, every time. Do not compare yourself to me in the here and now. I am you and you are me. Just 6 years apart. I am a look into the future.
You showed me where I came from. You showed me that there is value in being us. We are beautiful. And that beauty can help others.

I know you will complete transformation again and again. Like me. I have faith in our future. Lets love our way through life. Shit and all. Cause we have a great life. We can move through it anyway we want. That will be my reflection, every time I see you.

Share this post! If this post was insightful for you, share it with your loved ones so that they can better understand what you are going through.
Deel dit artikel! Als dit artikel voor jou inzichtelijk was, deel het dan met je omgeving - laten we het samen hebben over mentale gezondheid.


NiceDay Writer. Organizational and work psychologist. I love nature, traveling and photography. I like to move and exercise, especially tennis, pilates / yoga and walking. With my story I am committed to more openness about mental health and I want to reduce stigmas around these topics. You can find me on Instagram: I am one Movement and backpackingbouwke and on Twitter: @iambouwke

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