When are you happy? If you are in a relationship, or when you have a lot of money available? Or are you happy if you have everything you need?


The biggest pitfall for happiness, in my opinion, is social media. On social media everything seems to be fun, perfect and problem free. Or, on the other hand, you will read about the ultimate opposite: the terribly negative stories on how bad and unfair life is. As if there is nothing in between and you have to choose a side. And guess which side you will choose if you are not feeling good about yourself? Exactly, the negative one. Don’t let all the perfection on the world wide web influence you. You never know what is going on behind that beautiful picture or sweet Facebook post.


Maybe you talk about personal stuff with your dearest friends, but many people around you will not hang their dirty laundry outside. Nobody is perfect. You don’t know what happens behind the door. There are quarrels, there are tears, there can be money problems or infertility.

Sometimes it seems like everybody else is doing well, but try to forget about that. The point is to be happy, not perfect. Live your life the way you want it, including your ups and downs!

Do not fool yourself

When I was younger I wanted a perfect life. Find love, be successful and own a house. But during my burnout, I realized that I wanted my life to seem perfect but not necessarily to be perfect. Everyone thought I was happy, but I wasn’t. It was time to find out what actually made me happy.

Choose your own happiness

I had to be happy with myself and work on that. And I did! After 8 months of therapy I was finally content with myself. I was clearly on the right track, experiencing happiness.

Also in my current relationship I get to feel happiness. For the first time, I can honestly say that I am happy, despite the ups and downs. Yes, I still see all the perfect pictures pass by on social media. But I do it too! As long as you keep in mind that it’s just the positive things that you see online.

What makes me extra happy?

  • A firm hug after a hard day at school or work from my love
  • Motorcycling, for transport or just for fun
  • A good book
  • A cup of coffee in bed on a Sunday morning
  • Coming home after a wonderful ride on the road bike
  • Crossing on my bike

And there are many more things that give me a boost. Happiness does not depend on that one setback or windfall. Life is not always good. If you accept that, life will be so much more fun!

The song of this week is Just the way you are from Bruno Mars. The number speaks for itself. You are perfect the way you are. Don’t change, only if you want to!

Love, Renée x

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Expert in PTSD, burnout, personality disorders and eating disorder. Even if I only help one person by sharing my story, I am happy!

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