You know those moments where you keep telling yourself that after this exam, this deadline, this job or even this moment I will finally be happy? Well I know that moment too well and I have been using that phrase ‘’after this…..after that ’’ so much in my life. Until I realised I was striving so hard to find happiness that I lost it on the way. Most of our lives we try to work toward this moment that we think will be our final happy destination. We don’t realise that happiness is actually already here.
Life goals linked to happiness
From the moment that we become aware that we can do things in life or achieve things in live we attach our happiness to it. When you are a child it is more subtle and unconscious because you get happy about the simple things. You are less aware that your happiness comes from those things.
However, as soon as we hit puberty or go to school we become more self-aware. We realise and we get taught that our own happiness is in our own hands. But at the same time we do not learn that we are allowed to be happy regardless of what we have, do, are, own.
As soon as we become more self-aware we realise or conditioned that when we behave in a good way we are allowed to be happy. Or when we get a high grade on a test, we are allowed to be happy. But if you get a bad grade or don’t behave in a good way, you are not worthy to feel happy.
We start attaching conditions to our state of happiness. As soon as those conditions are not met, we take that out on ourselves by depriving ourselves from feeling or experiencing happiness. This process makes us always be on the lookout for another ‘’thing’’ to achieve to become happy. Do you recognise a pattern here?
Goals don’t work
The cycle goes a bit like this: I have a purpose or goal in mind, I work so hard to achieve it so I can feel happy. Once I get to my destination, I enjoy it for maybe a few days or hours and feel ‘’happy’’. The feeling of happiness wears off and it isn’t too long before I feel ‘’unhappy’’ again. And soon I find another purpose to achieve and find happiness again.
The feeling of happiness wears off and it isn’t too long before I feel ‘’unhappy’’ again
Find happiness from within
So what is the lesson in this that I learned after having have repeated this cycle endlessly in my life? I realised that as long as I try to find happiness in external things, people, achievements, materialistic stuff or anything that does not involve myself, I would remain on this endless journey of finding happiness. In the next blog post I will discuss ways that you can find happiness within.
Thank you for taking the time to read this and I wish you a lovely day!