It is Thursday afternoon and the sun is shining. I’m cycling back from therapy. Suddenly, all of the incentives are too much. The cars that drive past me drive me crazy. And all those people on their electric bicycles whizzing past me…. After having cycled the long road with farms, I decide to cross the street. Once crossed, the green trees and the silence hit me. Lovely. Finally some peace.
A while ago I had a conversation with my haptotherapist. We talked about how you can feel moments of happiness again from the inside. She asked me: when was the last time you felt happy inside? After a few minutes of silence I could not give her an answer. I don’t know how it feels anymore? She told me that perhaps I can feel the happiness again by starting to become aware of the little things in my environment. For example, cycling and consciously feeling the sun on your face. Or cycling in the forest and enjoying the peace and the birds chirping around you. Meditation is also possible if you are open to it. In any case, it’s about looking for that feeling of joy. Once you recognize it, it’s easier to recognize that feeling when greater moments of happiness take place in your life.
I can sometimes be impatient and easily get frustrated if something fails. After the conversation with my haptotherapist I returned home in good spirits. It was sunny that day, but cold. I tried to feel the sun on my face and open myself up. But of course this didn’t work out well the first time. I felt frustrated. Then I thought about what my haptotherapist said. It takes practice. After that thought, I could let go of my frustration. That evening I had ballet lessons. My pirouettes did not go perfectly in the last few weeks, but during that lesson it went well. And what did I feel inside? Happiness! It was only a small event, but I felt proud from the inside. This was the first step to feeling happiness again.
It is a process
And so I have felt some small moments of happiness in the last weeks. A few examples are: being together with friends, cuddling with animals, cycling in the forest, sitting in the sun, singing and doing ballet. I have the feeling that I can already experience more moments of happiness than two months ago. The blockages in my body and head are slowly being resolved. It feels nice to feel that I am heading in the right direction.