Everyone has bad days: your train is delayed, exactly on the day that you have to give an important presentation. You have spilled coffee on yourself and now you have to walk with a big stain on your favourite blouse for the whole day. Or you are working on a certain project that is not going as well you expected. There are all kinds of situations that make you feel frustrated, one more annoying than the other. Maybe you are irritated by someone else, maybe you are irritated by yourself. The basic emotion remains the same though: frustration.

First aid for frustrations

Sometimes we feel frustrated. It can be very annoying. You are irritated, angry, perhaps sad and desperate. This can take a lot of energy. So what can we do to deal with these feelings?

Adjust your expectations …

Frustrations often depend on expectations. For example, if you expect your teammate to make his deadlines on time, you might get frustrated if he doesn’t meet these expectations. But it can also be related to your expectations of yourself. If you for example expect to graduate within a year, but you experience some delay, it can also cause a lot of frustration. What helps in these situations is to adjust your expectations. Is it really that bad to take a little longer to finish that one project?

… and accept the situation

Acceptance is key. If you accept reality as it is, you can let go of your frustrations much easier. Accept that people are not perfect and that you cannot control everything. If necessary, forgive yourself or others for any mistakes that have been made.

Observe your frustration

Acceptance is often easier said than done. Often, you still want to let your frustrations out. However, research has shown that it does not help to keep on expressing your frustrations. This could even make things worse. What could help is to observe your frustration. Complete the following sentence: “I feel frustrated because …” In this way you gain insight into the reasons why you feel frustrated and you can learn more about yourself, your expectations and how you can adjust them. Perhaps you can also look at the situation in a positive way. For example: “I feel frustrated because the train is delayed and therefore I might be too late for my presentation. I can breathe, send a message to my colleagues, and now I have some time to get a nice cup of coffee at the station. ”

Turn your frustrations into something positive

You might as well try to use the adrenaline and energy that is released when you feel frustrated to make the situation better. Often these feelings cause you to find more creative solutions. Who knows, you might also be able to reach your goal in another way. However, sometimes we keep on trying but in the end it does not work out you the way you wanted to. This can cause more frustration. In these cases: know that you did everything in your power to make it work and then try to let go.

Distract yourself

If you still feel frustrated, try to distract yourself by doing something fun. Use sports as an outlet, have a lighthearted conversation with someone, or listen to some uplifting music. After doing this you will probably feel a lot better!

NiceDay App

Feeling frustrated? Observe your frustration and write it down in your Diary. Also register your emotions in order to gain more insight into your feelings. You can also plan a fun activity in your Daily Planner to positively distract yourself from your frustrations.

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Anouk Neerincx

Hi! My name is Anouk, coach at NiceDay! I would like to help you enjoying your day to the fullest. I like playing and listening to music, animals, traveling and books.

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