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It is evening. The lights are dimmed and the speakers are playing soft acoustic songs. Time to write something to empty my head. Today I thought about letting go. A few years ago I made a poster with a friend about the topic of letting go. The poster is on my wall next to my mirror and I actually look at it every day. I’ve been busy with letting go for a long time, but there seems to be no progress. At least that’s what my feeling says. But in reality I have already taken some steps into the right direction. Yet it remains difficult because certain pain is connected with letting go. My personal pain consists of grief, loss, anger, sadness, fear, abandonment and feelings of inferiority. I have been carrying this pain with me for twenty years and these feelings cannot just vanish in thin air.

Fear

Anxiety has a major influence on the process of letting go. Letting go is often difficult because you are afraid of the consequences. You may think that by letting go of a person for example, you will completely forget him or her. Or that you are a bad person when you let go because you are abandoning something or someone. I’m scared too. Afraid that if I let go I will regret it. That I could never ask for the things I wanted. I actually don’t want that, at least at the moment. But what if I have some questions for that particular person in ten years? Maybe it’s too late then.

Living in the now

Letting go hurts. You really have to get through it. There will be tears. Maybe even a lot of tears. But those tears have to get out of your system before you can think clearly about the reasons why letting go will help you. It is a liability and because of it you are not growing in life. This can be in the form of pleasure because you are constantly thinking about a situation or a particular person for example.

Or it ensures that you are living in the past and that you are constantly thinking about something that has happened a long time ago. You cannot go back to the past, so it is better to live in the present and to focus on the positive aspects of your life. But this is easier said than done. I personally think it has to do with trial and error and being able to turn the page. Especially the latter. If you can turn the page with the thought that letting go is in your positive interest, then it becomes easier.

Letting go in your own way

How you let go it really up to yo. You can let go drastically, by which I mean that you never pay attention to the person or situation ever again. You can also let go and look back on it later with the thought that it has brought you something in a positive way. For example, you have stood up for yourself, or you have had the courage to banish a toxic person or situation from your life. Letting go is often the best thing you can do for your own mental health. A person or situation can require a lot of energy from you at the expense of yourself. Sometimes letting go is necessary to feel better and to find peace again in your body and life.

Love,

Ghyta

Tags: letting go
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Ghyta

By telling others about my own experiences, I hope to support people that deal with mental disorders in their own process. I find it important that mental illnesses are recognised as real diseases, even though they might not be visible to the eye.

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