Nowadays a lot of people strive for perfection. The perfect house, the perfect job, the perfect boyfriend or husband, and the perfect motherhood. To achieve all this, you’re agenda might fill up and there is little to no time left for yourself. Relaxing is often postponed to a moment in the future. But this can not go well endlessly. You will notice that some days with the kids are lovely, but on other days you will feel stressed with all the little things that go wrong. Motherhood is not always a rose-strewn path and certainly does not have to be perfect. But how can you enjoy it more?

How to enjoy motherhood more?
To enjoy the motherhood more, there a various exercises that can help you to let go of the strive for perfection and stressful thoughts. For example, you can show compassion or be aware of the things you are grateful for. Also mindfulness and meditation can help you to live in the moment. Such exercises empty your mind en teach you to focus your attention to the present, to the moment itself. This does not mean you can not think of anything, but that you bring your attention to the thing you are currently doing. You can do this with daily activities such as brushing your teeth, eating, cooking, or walking, but also in the interaction with your kids.

Why mindfulness?
When we strive for perfection, plan our agenda’s full and things do not turn out the way we want to, this can make us feel as failures, which causes stress. With mindfulness exercises you can learn to reduce this stress and to let go of perfection. You will learn to be more aware of all the challenges in life, to worry less, to accept things the way that they are, and as a result of this; relax more.

What does mindfulness mean?
Doing something mindful does not mean doing a certain thing, but doing it in a certain way. For example, when you listen to a story of your son or daughter, you might notice that your mind wanders off to your grocery list or a chore that you still have to do. In a certain situation is the noticing that you are wandering off and bringing your attention back to the present, the story of you kid, the thing you have to do. This is not an easy task and it takes some practice.

Besides being present in the moment, mindfulness comprises of multiple spiritual lessons such as compassion, the importance of attention, the importance of physical contact and learning to see the value in the things surrounding you. When you become aware of your actions and thoughts, and consciously carry them out in the present, while embedding the spiritual lessons of mindfulness, you can feel more relaxed and satisfied in your busy life as a mother.

But when?
Besides being in the present while interacting with your kid, you can also perform “regular” mindfulness exercises at the moments that you have some time for yourself. Do you have little time, for example when your kids are playing outside for a couple of minutes, try doing a short breathing exercise such as the three minute breathing space. Do you have a bit more time, because the kids are at school or taking a nap, try doing the body scan or the progressive relaxation exercise you can find on our blog. We would love to hear what works for you, so leave a comment below this blog to share your experiences!

You can only waste time if you forget to enjoy it.

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Ilya de Groot

Hi, my name is Ilya, I am a psychologist and coach at NiceDay. I love traveling, good food, new experiences and exercising (roller skating and skiing). The balance between effort and relaxation is important to keep, are you managing? I would like to help you with that!

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