If you are on the right track again and you really start to believe that you are heading in the right direction, you dare to take more risks. You will meet more friends, you may start working again and you get the idea that your diet is becoming more stable. And then it happens, a relapse. What now?

Events that happen to you such as, someone who dies, illness in the family, stress at work or a quarrel with a loved one can be the trigger for a relapse. However, do not give in immediately when this happens. Here are some tips:

  • The most important thing is that you acknowledge what is happening! You recognize the signals, one more clearly than the other. Other people can see it, but this means nothing if you keep denying it yourself. I am having problems with ‘normal’ food again. After the argument, my feeling went all over the place and I did not eat for 4 days. I lost 2 kg. Slight panic, because before this, it all went so well!
  • Do not force yourself immediately to be at the point where you were before the relapse. I wanted to eat what I ate before those 4 days. But I was starting at that plate and I felt awful. With great difficulty, I finished the whole plate but then I was sick for 2 days. So, from my own experience I can now say that this might not be the right solution.
  • Talk! Yes, again: talk to the people around you. I told my partner that I had a lot of trouble with eating again. He immediately said: “Take it easy and do not force yourself. Then it only gets harder! “And he was right!
  • Accept that things are going slightly less well than before. It’s okay! And in addition, it is part of life. It cannot always go well. Sometimes you have to take a step back and then continue from there.
  • Trust yourself. You can do this! You came here earlier and now you have tools to get started again. Step by step you will move back in the right direction.

I am now back to the point where I start to get hungry in the evening, so I take small portions until I am full. This amounts to about half to three quarters of what I would normally eat. From the weekend onwards, I will try to take a cup of yogurt with cereal during the day. Step-by-step.

And the worst part is
Before it gets any better
We’re headed for a cliff

It certainly helps me to have a big eater next to me. He does not care whether I eat half a pizza or two whole pizzas. This makes me feel much comfortable to do what feels right and not what is ‘normal’. And when I’m full, I move the rest of my plate to him. He’s happy with a little extra and I’m still not forcing myself.

I hope it helps you a little too. And not only with regard to food. Also with fatigue or if you feel down: take a step back, give yourself some est. It’s really good!

This week I’m going for 2 songs! Both are from Paramore. First I choose Turn it off. The text of this song refers to everything above. I also go for Brick by boring brick. This song I turn to full volume if I am not comfortable with myself. Good combination for this week!

Love, Renée x

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Expert in PTSD, burnout, personality disorders and eating disorder. Even if I only help one person by sharing my story, I am happy!

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