Letting go of something which you really don’t care about has an advantage. You will leave more time for the things that you really enjoy. What does it give you? A more meaningful life! Because letting things go, creates space for the things that are really important to you.

Questions for more insight

Mark Manson’s book ‘The Subtle Art of Not Giving a F * ck’ (2016)’, helps you to master the art of letting go. For example: saying no helps you to invest in your yeses. By saying no, you make room for more yeses.

But to which things you want to say yes more often? What is really important? According to Manson, when letting go, it is important to confront our mortality. These questions, where you need to imagine yourself at the end of your life, helps you to discover what is really important for you:

  • When you die, what do you want to leave behind?
  • If you are no longer here, in what sense has the world changed or improved?
  • What has been your contribution? What happened because of you?

Manson describes more inspiring perspectives on life. Letting go is also central in these perspectives:

You find happiness by not looking for happiness

Problems are a constant in life. Happiness is caused by problem solving. Let go of the search for happiness. It helps you to be happy.

Listen to your emotions, but don’t take them too seriously

Emotions are part of the balance in our lives. Only emotions are not the whole balance. Just because something feels good doesn’t mean it’s good. Just because something feels bad does not mean that it is bad.

Enjoy mediocriy

We are all mediocre people for the most part. Only the extremes get all the publicity. The continuous flow of unrealistic information fuels our feelings of uncertainty. Mediocrity sounds boring, because it involves all kinds of normal things: the pleasure of friendship, creating something beautiful, helping others or reading a book. But maybe this feels like normal for a reason. These are the things that really matter in life.

Other great insights from Mark Manson’s book:

  • Choose: not choosing is also a choice
  • Realize that you are usually wrong: change in your life is only possible by being wrong and doing something about it.
  • Failure is a way forward, doing something is the only measure of success.

For which yes’s in your life do you want to make more space? What are you going to say no to?

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Ard Van Oosten

I am a psychiatrist trained in business management and researcher. My heart goes out to talent development. I connect knowledge of the brain with leadership and offer tools for personal growth and development.

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