Many people feel a sense of discomfort and shame when it comes to sex. Sometimes the fear and shame are so great that talking about sex is even avoided, with all its consequences. This is a waste, because talking about sex with your (bed)partner has many benefits for your emotional state and the relationship with the other person.
Benefits of talking about sex
Research shows that your self-confidence and sexual health increases if you dare to talk about sex. Especially when you talk about what you like, what your insecurities are and when you talk about the use of birth control. In addition, you start thinking more about your sexual health, which also reduces the threshold of the conversation about condom use with a new bed partner.
Sharing is caring
Because you discuss what your needs and fantasies are, others can also learn from them. Of course this also works the other way around, you can be inspired by the stories of others. You also learn from each other about what you encounter when it comes to communicating about sex.
Talking about sex why feels a bit uncomfortable for you. But who knows, a new world of pleasure will open for you!
By talking about sex you will probably identify more with the other person and this will reduce shame and discomfort. In addition, it creates a relationship of trust because you share something intimate.
Do you want talk about sex with your (bed) partner? Read these tips:
- Talk about sex before you start having sex. This prevents that uncertainties arise and that someone else may cross your boundaries.
- Literally talk about the discomfort and shame you experience when discussing about this topic. It will gives the other person room to put you at ease and to help you to reduce the discomfort.
- Find out for yourself why you experience discomfort or shame with the subject of sex. Have you had any bad sexual experiences in the past? Perhaps it helps to talk to a professional.
- View or read together with your (bed) partner what you find erotic or exciting. This can be a scene from a movie or a passage from a book. The advantage of this is that you can explain to the other person in a visual way what you like.
- Remember: the less clear you are to your (bed) partner, the less he or she will understand you. Try to get over your shame and talk about it!
Do you want to learn to talk about sex? The NiceDay app can help you. Write it as an activity in your diary or ask your coach for help. And do not forget: as with many things in life, it’s all about practice, practice, practice!