In my previous blog I stated that I also intend to write about my less good days. Several adjustments in my life have ensured that these good days are no longer overshadowed by the bad ones. However, I still have days when things are not going well: I cry, have enormous frustration, deep uncertainties or a bad mood.
It’s not a competition
Since I am very busy with my personal development and I am very proud of the progress I have made in recent months, I am really disappointed by the bad days. I am very strict with myself. It therefore feels as if I receive one point for all my good days and a full score because a day which has “failed”. This mindset naturally makes me feel anything but better.
Fall back …
In the past two weeks I had a huge “relapse” feeling. I hadn’t had a fight with my boyfriend for weeks and now we had three fights in a row. Had not been crying for six weeks: now I have had four huge crying sessions in two weeks. In addition I feel super helpless about problems in my family, problem I cannot change. Also the summer period at work is really over and I have experienced enormous stress. Long story short: I felt really bad. However, if you feel bad, it doesn’t help you to feel bad because you feel bad. That feeling that you “fail” makes you feel even worse. I find it super difficult, but my wise lesson in situations like this: be kind to yourself! I found this article on the NiceDay site very useful. Be kind to yourself and do good self-care is the message.
Sometimes I just get lost for a while, sometimes it takes a little longer. But in the end I always get home again.
… and then get up again
So if you feel bad: just let that feeling come over you. Take the time you need to feel bad and only start to get “back up” when you are ready. Sadness, anger, gloom: it’s okay. And the moment you start to feel better again: take your life step by step. I talked it out with my boyfriend and we agreed on how to be nicer for each other; A visit to my family is planned and I will go on vacation for a week so that I can let go of the stress of my job. I’m not going to do too much on vacation, besides being very sweet to myself.
Competition or a walk
So, a lesson for myself: personal development is not a competition. I can’t win or lose. You can compare it to a walk: sometimes I take a beautiful route and sometimes I accidentally take the wrong turn. This turn can sometimes lead me to places I would rather not have been. Sometimes I just get lost for a while, sometimes it takes a little longer. But in the end I always get home again.